How did the teen summer camp, internship or family vacation go? If you and your teen had a great time, this blog post is NOT for you.
This blog post targets those parents who are doing their best to facilitate positive experiences with their teens and co-create not only your relationship, but also the summer plan and things have not gone according to plan. (If you’re in another hemisphere and winter is upon you, think of those times you worked hard for your teen, and it didn’t go the way you planned.)
- Your teen hated the internship you called in favors to set up.
- Your teen complained about the mentors and food at summer camp.
- The family vacation was stressful.
- Or you’re left tired and unappreciated from all the effort you’ve exerted.
Yes, you may hold out hope for the 4th of July, but you’re beginning to wonder why you try so hard. I get it. I’ve been there.
All that effort begs the question whose problem is it anyway?
This week in our Facebook group, Brave Parent Raising Teens in the Brave Parent Mini Summit, I discussed how to tell whose problem it is, when we want our teen to “get with the program” and our expectations aren’t met.
If I have a problem with how my teen is reacting, I have the problem! My expectations are my problem.
Perhaps, I need to do the inner work. For example…
- Was the family vacation or summer camp really meant for me – to make up for the fact that I didn’t get vacations as a child?
- Was this internship because I am invested in molding my child into someone they may not be?
- Did I include my teen in the planning of any of it?
I’m responsible for my thoughts, actions and feelings and they are responsible for their thoughts, actions and feelings. All interaction is an opportunity to show up for ourselves and our teens as authentically as possible and learn from the experience in front of us – even if it’s a moody one.
Taking full emotional responsibility for ourselves in our parenting helps our teens take full responsibility for themselves! I can show you how. Just reach out.