Co-creation in conscious parenting is the highest form of respect.

Co-creation goes beyond the non-coercive parenting approach because power is no longer the basis of relating. Power sharing can’t be the basis of relationship because parents will always have more social experience and legal status than children. The power differential will always influence the relationship.
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BUT co-creation in relationship defines the relating by responsibility, not power. In co-creating relationships with our teens, we share the responsibility for the relationship, and we have the opportunity to be communicative equals. Co-creating trusts that our teens have their own interpretations of the world around them. Co-creating establishes the emotional and spiritual safe space to draw it out their interpretations, meanings and even wisdom, while supporting and nurturing the growth of their gifts.
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How is this achieved? By communicating from the heart in every interaction thereby, proving trustworthiness.
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When we do our own inner work, we can be as emotionally and spiritually present as possible in as many interactions as we can. To the best of our ability, we free ourselves of projections. That’s my definition of conscious parenting anyway, “showing up as present as humanly possible in any given interaction, with presence meaning free of my projected fear or injury from the past and as free of my fear and worry about the future. We can even be vulnerable with our emotional reality, particularly with teens and bravely share.
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We learn conscious communication skills that represent our own truth in real time, in real conversations which carries an implied underlying invitation (and model) for our teens to share their truth.

There is a myth in the conscious parenting movement that it is a progressive model which means, there is an order to it. The assumption is, that you first do your inner child healing and then naturally and intuitively parent from a new place all put together without having had any healthy communication models previously.

No!

At least that’s not anywhere near my experience. First of all, life is messy. Life with teens is messier and humanity isn’t designed to be anything but messy and if you are spiritually sensitive, you see beauty in the chaos (in the good moments).

Our healing (and growth) is more like a spiral staircase or the double helix of our own DNA. We heal some and climb higher to see the original point of injury or projection from a different vantage point. AND every interaction with our kids acts as a mirror to reflect back to us where we are emotionally and spiritually. But that interaction is reflexive, meaning our teens are growing and interpreting the stimuli and social variables around them and exerting their meanings onto us as well.

In other words, relating is a two-way street. We are both growing and changing all the time. We are constantly, co-creating a new relationship with our teens (in all relationships). The question is, are we doing it consciously or unconsciously?

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Not only is co-creation a constant invitation to connect on a heart-level by the way we communicate our heart messages, but it also has the added benefit of demonstrating respectful communication for our teens’ futures. The conscious communication skills that voice our truth is the very way teens can respectfully stand for themselves with us and in every other relationship as they launch.
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Co-creating (sharing responsibility in relationships) is the path to becoming a responsible adult. And isn’t that our parenting purpose to raise teens to be responsible, contributing adults?
To learn more about co-creating a positive relationship with your teen that lasts a lifetime, visit https://LauraLReagan.com