I believe parenting anxiety is the byproduct of parenting alone or in isolation. We were intended to parent in supportive groups, tribes, villages and societies. Let’s face it, society is anything but supportive right now.
Asking for help requires bravery and of course vulnerability. When the majority of humanity lived in tribes or even when Western culture institutions worked better, help was in every knowing nod. Aunties went with you every morning to carry the water back to the village.
They knew your kids almost as well as you did, protected them and guided them as their own. Their knowing interventions were welcome. As Western society developed, we still had neighborhoods where kids played in each other’s houses and organic conversations of support and mentorship were common among parents. Now life is too busy for much of that if we even trust our fellow villagers or neighbors anymore. Today, we can’t even talk about politics calmly much less share about our most personal triumphs and struggles with our kids. It’s no wonder, parents feel isolated.
Paradoxically this isolation occurs in the digital age when “connection” is just fingertips away. All of us need community to raise kids and none of us has the research data to support optimal outcomes because no one has raised a generation like this before. But we do know deep connection is what our hearts (and theirs) long for and we know conscious communication can get us there. Let’s normalize reaching out. It’s okay to ask for help. We all need that other adult mirror to partner with, nurture, guide and mentor.
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