Parents are surprised to learn and experience that their teens want to connect deeply with them as their parents more than anyone else in the world.

The key to unlocking teen engagement and their latent desire to connect with parents and hear parents, is the first communication skill in the Back on Track Family Communication model. It’s affirmation.

Why? Because affirmation cuts through teen defenses and touches their hearts.

Affirmations are foundational to building positive relationships with our teens. Stating an affirmation tends to communicate unconditional positive regard (love) to our teen because of who they are, not what they do.

Affirmations soften tensions and make relationships safe to express exactly who we are.

Sometimes, parents are slow to state affirmations because they don’t offer the gentle, self-acceptance of affirmations to themselves.

Perhaps the best (and sometimes the most challenging) way to start the practice of affirmation is to give them to yourself.

• Affirm yourself

Because we cannot transmit loving self-acceptance to our teens if we haven’t achieved it, our lesson in affirmations must begin with ourselves. What loving affirmation will you give yourself?

Simple Examples:

• I am enough.
• I am making progress. I don’t have to be perfect.
• I am loved.

Now you are prepared to affirm your teen with authenticity.

• Affirm Your Teen

Affirmations that breakthrough teen defensive exteriors to connect profoundly are specific. Affirmations demonstrate that we truly see who our teens are and who they are becoming.

Simple Examples:

• I love your sense of humor. It really lightens my load at the end of the day.
• I see how hard you are studying.
• I enjoy spending time with you, like last Saturday when we went shopping together.

 

Helpful Hint: Affirmation is not praise.

NOW Try This: Write 5 to 7 affirmations and try sharing one daily for a week with your teen. You can share them verbally or by text.

THEN: Email me at Laura@LauraLReagan.com and let me know how it impacted your relationship with your teen. I will gladly share the next step, because affirmation is your ticket into their hearts, but you will want to stay there and sustain the communication.

I can’t wait to hear from you!