Co-creation in conscious parenting is the highest form of respect (and here’s the secret – it prepares them for the future)!
Co-creation goes beyond the non-coercive parenting approach because power is no longer the basis of relating. Co-creation in relationships defines the relating by responsibility, not power.
In co-creating relationships with our teens, we share the responsibility for the relationship. Co-creating trusts that our teens have their own wisdom and establishes the emotionally and spiritually safe space to draw out, support and nurture that wisdom.
How is this achieved? By communicating from the heart in every interaction. Here’s a small example about something that isn’t emotionally heavy.
Most families try to take a summer vacation. Parents are usually in the driver’s seat about vacation times literally and figuratively. Tradition and money may set the boundaries about destination, duration and budget, but teens often don’t get a voice or vote.
But what a wonderful opportunity to co-create an experience that can teach skills and honor a teen’s budding desire to exert their agency.
What if parents asked, “Where do you want to go this year?” “Who do you want to come?” “What are the top 3 things you’d like to do?” “After you choose them can you research how much they cost?”
Or you can get really realistic and fancy and say, “Here’s what we have to spend on gas and meals, research a few itineraries and their costs and we can put it up for a family vote?
Can you imagine if you shared responsibility for the family vacation?
That’s what co-creation is, helping your teen lean into their desire to exercise their autonomy, independence and agency. It can be applied to almost any subject or experience.
Parents have told me that co-creating with the conscious communication skills I teach, in the order the model outlines, is a game changer. When we treat our teens as the budding young adults they long to be, they often step into the role.
When parents solicit their teens voice and vote, they get collaboration. (Of course, the parent gets veto power.)
Reply in the comments and tell me how you will reframe issues with your teen to co-create solutions together. Then be sure to visit my website to learn more about engaging teens. You can even download 20 Conversation Starters.
