My birthday is always a time of reflection and renewal for me. Since its so close to New Year’s Day, I take stock of the previous year and boy was it a doozy. Not only did we weather a pandemic, but I also had life altering milestones in my family. My father passed away and my grandson was born. These powerful experiences remind me to be conscious of the timeline we live each daily. Every moment matters.
When my daughters were tweens and teens, it sometimes felt like I was riding their hormonal roller coaster. They had boyfriend drama, depression, first jobs and high school AP course projects and on and on. On top of that, they each had a health scare and it sometimes seemed as if they would never reach graduation. I remember feeling the pressure to make every interaction count since they would be off to college soon.
Their perceived crises were opportunities to connect and lay foundations for conscious living. As I’ve shared before, I did so by mapping out the conscious communication skills that I now teach parents. I share the step-by-step communication skills in my book, How to Raise Respectful Parents and its compliment course, Turn Your Teen Around.
Conscious communication is based on co-creation. Astrophysicists have actually seen co-creation at play. Galaxies are literally formed by two or more galaxies merging. The stardust we are made of, is co-created. Why wouldn’t we want to bring that life force to our parenting?
AND the good news is, the life skills we want our teens to develop, is co-created through connection. Whereas attempts to control may make teens compliant but it doesn’t teach anything, except how to rebel against it.
What does co-created connection look like? The study of psychology perpetuates theory after theory about what constitutes a healthy relationship, but I went straight to the source! In my own social research published in the Journal of Applied Social Science, I asked tweens and teens themselves what did adults do that impacted them the most. Invariably they named their parents as the most influential figures in their lives. They outlined this road map for impact which requires relating co-creatively. Its quite simple, yet profound.
Do fun activities
Teach a skill
Solve a problem
Presence in crisis
I’m on a mission to help parents and teens make conscious communication breakthroughs that build co-created solutions and positive futures as teens grow to young adults.
If you are frustrated because your teen tunes you out, I would love to help you follow their unique road map in practical transformative ways.